|
Welcome! Browse away to your amusement, and feel free to add some comments yourself.
If you like or dislike a post, comment on it with the comment links. If you feel that the post doesn't deserve to be in the blog at all, click its comment link next to it; while the post will not be removed from the blog immediately, it will be resubmitted for review, and it is possible that it will be removed.
Questions? Comments? ripton@gmail.com Archives
|
| |
Part of me is aching for a more dramatic change. I'm getting tired of where I am, physically and emotionally, and want to move on. My circumstance mean that I have to wait for this, and my social life is going to dictate when that is. But that situation is hardly ideal. I'm aware that getting close to people who aren't here long is always difficult in the medium term, and I'm aware it'll affect me badly come this Summer, but for the most part I'm happy with the arrangement. What I am scared of is if I make this a habit over my lifetime, and whether I am willing to put the effort into keeping things away from temporaryism. While I maintain contact with old friends, there's only one person I really feel like putting effort into seeing, and due to circumstances, that's pretty much impossible. And when I say that there's only one, I mean there's only one in my entire life. Despite my perceived closeness during the friendship, time has shown that there is only one person that affected me enough so that I think of her almost every day. I also have the curse over confusion over what I want. I know it wouldn't be worth changing for someone, but it's always tempting. I find out how I feel in three days. Sorry of that seems vague. But all these insecurities and mixed emotions have made me irritable all day, and I really need a release. And there were too many cars around and it was too wet for me to get that on the roads. I did, however, own a Focus when he tried to race me. Dan went to America again. I drove him to Gatwick. He might be going for good at some point, and I can't say I blame him. The quality of life available to me here is very high, but I am in need of a change, and locale is the thing I'd change first.  I have spent a few days listening to songs I used to listen to when I was much younger. The whole opportunity to recapture my youth through generic but identifiable punk rock is too tempting to miss. Certain songs have really begun to stick to ideas of people, even though we've never listened to them together. I haven't played my keyboard in a while, mainly because my laptop just isn't powerful enough to give me smooth notes. I need to fix my desktop.  Alyssa has been away in Europe for ages. She's missed out on so much drama and so many parties. I raced the the streets of London at vastly illegal speeds getting Holborn to take a friend to hospital. While hospital is never a fun experience, the drive there was very eventful. I managed Wimbledon to Holborn in about 18 minutes. And that was with some bum traffic lights. I had a fun evening at Jacia's the other night. I don't go there often, but it's always a good time when I do. We intended to watch The Princess Bride (which I still haven't seen), but we were sidetracked by chatting until two in the morning. The next night, I met up with Dan Cant for the first time in a while. With some default passwords and some found USB drives, we managed to install a Guitar Hero clone on one of the PCs at the Wired Café on campus.  That passed some time before I collected Lisa and Tasha from central London. I feel like I've been driving into and through London so often. It was only a week and a bit ago that I drove Alyssa and her friends to Stanstead. When I got Lisa home, she made us food and we played Top Trumps and tried out my new tripod. It was a strange evening, but it was good to talk with people again. But today, like most of the last week, has been rather eventless. Aside from driving Becky around, I didn't achieve much apart from downloading two episodes of Lost. I have been quite good in resisting watching them, but I don't know how long I can withstand the temptation. I thought of a joke in court the other day. "My friend shot a coke machine. That was bang out-of-order.". I wouldn't have pegged this for a Friday night.
posted by Quasi @ 12:10 AM
0 comments
Oh Snap
A Digital SLR camera is an expensive piece of kit, even if you settle for an entry level model. And I cannot stand settling for entry level (eg, my car, my phone, my computer). I don't mind old, but I do mind getting the basic model. So I set out trying to find a second hand mid range DSLR camera. Every time I found one on ebay it would sell for more than I was willing to pay, and I'd end up with only hopes but no photography. But after a couple of months of trying, I came across an underrated gem, and just over a week ago I become the owner of a Canon EOS 20D. It cost nearly £300, but that's a fraction of the price new, and you cannot tell it's second hand (apart from a touch of wear on the hot shoe). I haven't had a camera since I was nine or so, and the closest I got was borrowing my father's old Pentax SLR. And learning to use that got me interested in photography, but I always held out to buy a really nice camera. And now I have. With that in mind, this blog will be far more illustrated than before. To christen it, Rachel and I traveled to Wales to take some cool photos. Since court was adjourned for a Friday, we drove out to Carmarthen on a Friday morning, and checked into a hostel in the afternoon. We walked all around the local beach and saw the castle, observed a shipwreck, saw horses; and I quickly realised that I hadn't taken a scarf. Which, in Wales, is a mistake.  We ate at the hostel and chatted with the owner, and went to bed early in anticipation of the task of fostering love for my new hobby: I was going to voluntarily get up before sunrise to take photographs. And we woke at 6:00AM, and we drove out to the castle, and it was a good thing we did, because we both took some amazing photographs of the castle being hit by sun.  After tiring ourselves out, but refusing to sleep when we returned, we took a drive to Rhossili, and I aimed to recreate my family holiday at Worm's Head. The weather wasn't as sunny as the morning, but there was enough light to take some wonderful photographs of us both sitting on cliff edges and wobbling as we both were blown about by the wind above huge drops straight into the ocean. It was very scary, although not quite as scary as going into the attic. Worm's Head itself wasn't really accessible as planned, due to high tide lasting longer than we were told. We did have the opportunity to fly my kite on Rhossili beach though, and it hadn't been flown in a while. We drove to Swansea for dinner, and admired the uniform yellow lamps that illuminated the ridges in the background. Going on dates with Rachel had long eliminated my vegetarianism, and Swansea offered me a mixed grill of tasty meats. While the drive there had been dotted with roaming sheep and cows, with twisty roads and not much traffic, the drive back was very peaceful, and we listened to Death Cab for Cutie. I did teach Rachel to change gear though, which was fun. The owner of the hostel had a Ford Scorpio, which he was looking to sell. I was very tempted, especially as he was looking to buy a BMW 3-series. We drove home the next day, and made it back to continue watching the new series of Lost. My camera had pretended to be low on batteries, but it was just trying to scare me, it lasted a few hundred more pictures after the warning. Julia and her new boyfriend Raven came to London for his birthday, and I was lucky enough to score a dinner date with them. Both of them and Rachel and I all went to eat at an Indian restaurant, and I was tempted enough to brave my first Chicken Vindaloo, which wasn't as painful as I was expecting. We all chatted about serious and trivial things, but Julia looked very happy.  It was wonderful to see her again, and something must be arranged before it gets too late again. She's always fun to laugh with and an endless outlet for my mundane and predictable problems. Nighthawks, the club I set up to alleviate my boredom after work, has dwindled in numbers since the trial, and now mainly happens when nothing else happens, and only happens with three of us. Lisa and Alyssa and I are either playing guitar or swinging glow sticks or watching a film in the evenings, often all falling asleep on someone's tiny bed and being plagued by neck pains and stiff shoulders for days afterwards. We attempted to go to the Bop last Friday, and with my suit and red tie, and the girls both going all out on costumes, it was due to be a memorable one. However, the organisers felt that tickets were precious, and we arrived too late to get any. We did, however, stand outside and dance all the same, before going back to swing glow sticks and listen to music and collapse.  It was a shame, but we had an excellent evening all the same.  The next day I was invited to celebrate Sarah Booker's birthday in London, and it was wonderful to catch up with old friends, and try out black and white photographs. There's also an all you can eat Chinese Buffet, where we filled ourselves. The sushi wasn't great, but there wasn't any extra charge for it, so that was a plus. I had arranged a Lost party sleepover, but since most of my regular guests were away or ill, it was just me and the Hawaiians, and we watched 300 and slept on the floor. The point was that sleepovers are something you do when you're 12, and you stop doing them when you're older. And that's a shame, because they're a lot of fun, and as far as I can tell, it was really enjoyed all around. After driving back to University, Lisa went to write and record her election speech, while Alyssa and I went to do photography homework in Richmond Park. It involved being cold, muddy and slippery, while having a huge amount of fun being angry at inconsistent focus, unreliable ducks and intriguing shapes in wood. It made me wish I did more photography.  Today involved me returning to court, followed by an old Computing Reunion. Natasha, Dan, Helgi, Kelly and Lynsey all appeared and made me wish I was back a couple of years. We had a fun time, and laughed while we made fools of ourselves in the Pub Quiz (our team name was 'The Blue Screens of Death'). We came fourth or fifth overall, not a great result, but it was fun despite that. I have taken well over a thousand photographs since my camera arrived, and this blog will have more photos than before. I hope people appreciate this new direction. And maybe a long awaited redesign.
posted by Quasi @ 3:28 AM
0 comments
Drop-Out Phonebook
For my dinner with Rachel, despite two main courses, a side and two cocktails, the meal cost less than £12, which was almost embarrassing, so we left a large tip, and then walked around London with new eyes for a while. Rachel hadn't seen Piccadilly Circus before, and she also wanted some more pictures of the Trafalgar fountains. I say new eyes because when walking around London with a tourist, you find yourself looking at everything differently, in relation to how it is represented and reproduced around the world, as opposed to the place where you were born and grew up. Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner. I entered the RPM challenge again this year. Last year I wrote and recorded Seven Pages, and I was really happy with it. And it turns out people like it, and like my style of writing. This year, not an ounce of inspiration. Or even a place to write music. I mean, other music is going great. My third album (codenamed STW by NEW) is pretty much written and just needs recording and some vocalists. But that is ineligible for the RPM challenge because I wrote it outside of February. But apart from this minor issue, 2008 is still going very well for me. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, and that's saying a lot because I'm happy a lot of the time. I'm never bored in the evenings (sometimes during the day but I don't mind daytime relaxing). I'm playing guitar a lot more now, and playing guitar with other people too. We might even have a comedic band going. Money also helps. I have money now, I'm finally not poor and I can afford to do things that are fun and not feel terrible for borrowing from other people. I managed to buy Space Channel 5 (for PS2 instead of Dreamcast, but what can you do?), and I found ChuChu Rocket! for £2, which rules. I was hoping that Space Channel 5 would inspire me musically, but it's getting late in the day for that. I need to fix my computer too. I think there's a dinner at Alyssa's tonight, but I'm not totally sure, and I think there's chicken, which I am eating for the mean time, but I'm not happy about it. Meat is murder and all. And less healthy than vegetables, but so tasty. I need more fish again.
posted by Quasi @ 4:47 PM
0 comments
Turn Around
If the year two thousand and eight ends up as eventful and happy as the first two months have been, I will have very little to complain about next December. WARNING: Familiar readers will know that I keep my blog clean and safe for those of all ages, but in this particular post there is language that could potentially offend. And opinions that could potentially offend, but you should be used to those. At the end of last year, I was given a notice of Jury Duty. This happened to Emma not long before we moved out, and this was not ideal for her, due to her plans. However, I had no reason to object, apart from the grounds that I'd be working the equivalent of full time for no money. The courts pay out what you would have earned had you been at work. As someone unemployed, this wouldn't be much. In fact it would be nothing. I considered going on benefit, but apart from the obvious reasons, I feared that free money would remove my main motivation to get a job. My opinion of the benefit system not withstanding, I'd loath to be a part of it. However, early in January, I became employed. Not only is the job very suitable for me, but it pays rather well. The hours could be considered antisocial, but it depends on what you call social. But I'll come back to that. I now work as a QA for SEGA Europe. Essentially, that's video game testing. That's pretty cool. It I also am attempting to keep the JCS alive, and while that hasn't been successful the last couple of weeks, it is still happening. My job's hours go from early afternoon until ten thirty at night, and that doesn't help. But for the last two weeks, and for a few weeks more, I am on Jury Duty, which has relatively normal (in fact, better than normal) hours, and I can function like a normal person during them. Before I was required to be a member of a jury of peers, I created a club called Nighthawks, which started at eleven at night, and went on until most people were tired and left. This will most likely resume once I have finished my legal duty. Nighthawks has meant I have more friends than before, and since I keep running out of friends because of challenging circumstances, making new ones is always fun. Except that these friends tend to be better than the ones I normally make, as I see them far more often. Every few days as opposed to once every few weeks. And not just by association, there is active will involved in meeting with them. And I can't really say that I'm unhappy with that. It's quite the opposite. Most of my new friends are from America, coming for one semester. This calls into mind the issue of 'temporaryism', and the transient nature of most things I've done recently. But as well as this, it also helps me in my recent trend of dividing my personal history into easily manageable sections; each section identifiable by a key player, my best friend, an important event or just what I was doing at the time. Each stage could be as long as two years or as short as a couple of months, but these stages help me identify myself in what I remember. On top of helping with stages, sharing my quirks and fun with others makes every negative aspect of the year fade away. I lost my grandfather two days ago. I should say step-grandfather, but that wasn't how I think about him. I hadn't seen him in a little over a year, not since my road trip to Ireland with Yunhae and Roan, and his death made me think a lot, as deaths within the family do. He was ninety years old, and died of a heart attack while driving to work on the farm. He was probably the toughest man I've ever known, he taught me how to use a screwdriver and most swear words I know. I would feel worse, but I know that since moving back to Ireland, he was happy, and he did what he loved. It was impossible to tell him what to do, and despite his rough demeanor, I had enormous respect for him and everything he achieved. So I can't feel too saddened by his death: I can't see him having any regrets, and I'm sure if he heard my crying he'd tell me to 'shut the hell up, Christ Almighty, that's no way for a young man to fuckin' act. For fuck's sake.'. But despite this, and the negative results of a ninety two hour Skype phone call, life in this year has been overwhelmingly positive. For a few weeks, I had terrible aches in my cheeks because I was smiling too much. It's an awful affliction, I tell you that much. One thing I cannot seem to get over is that despite different stages, my life seems to repeat itself, in an almost perfect cycle. And that isn't a bad thing. I know that it will continue to repeat itself, maybe in an identical way, maybe not, but the outcome will be similar. But I wouldn't change that, as I try to live without any regrets, like my grandfather. And I think that since I got my confidence several years ago, I have lived like that. Aside from a couple of things, I am happy with every choice. And I would make them again as well. Anyway, it would be foolish for me to make any predictions about the next few months, because every time I think I have my life figured out something radical happens and usually makes it better. And even if I'm shooting myself in the foot, I'm happy with limping for a bit.
posted by Quasi @ 11:39 PM
0 comments
Hope in 160 Characters
posted by Quasi @ 4:19 AM
0 comments
Manager: Quasi Associates: Dan, Erin, Carlos, Shun, CM, Hap, Ivy, Yukina |
|
| Hosted by ASmallOrange |
| 200 posts approved; 239040 posts pending |